To Thine Own Self Be True
by Illusia
Summary: This is my version of how the next few episodes would go if Scott only came back to Horizon to take Shelby to the Morp. Then a few months into the next school year, Scott decides that he belongs at Horizon.
1. Prologue (setting the scene What has hap...

~ DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, I'm not trying to make money off of them, yada yada yada~  
This is my first Fanfic, Reviews are very welcome  
Flashbacks have * in front and behind them  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear  
  
Shelby silently crept back into the girl's bunk. She had gone out after light's out again, forgetting Scott was gone. She did that often. Walking down to the docks and sitting there for a few minutes before remembering that Scott had left. Wordlessly she slid back into bed and cried herself to sleep. That was another thing she did often, unaware that one of the other Cliffhanger girls could hear her.  
  
Daisy sat in her bed silently cursing Scott. He had made Shelby so happy in the days after the Morp, and now that he was gone...She didn't even want to remember what had happened to Shelby a few weeks ago. Finding her in the bathroom, kitchen knife in hand. As the memory swept over her, Daisy cursed Scott again.  
  
*"Shell!" Daisy shouted coming into the girls dorm room. She knew that Shelby wanted to be alone, but hiding from her and the other girls was bad even for Shelby. "Shell, where did you go?" Then she opened the bathroom door. There sat Shelby, on the floor next to a small puddle of her blood, a knife from the kitchen in hand. "Oh my God!" Daisy screamed, pulling the First Aid box off of the top shelf. "JULIET!"  
  
Juliet raced into the bathroom, and stopped as soon as she saw Shelby. "I'm gonna go find Peter." She shouted on her way out the door.  
  
"Don't let Jess find me." Shelby rasped, inching away from the bandage that Daisy was trying to apply to her arm. "Don't let them find me."  
  
After a few moments, Daisy finally got the bandage secured onto Shelby's arm. "She won't." She pulled Shelby half into her lap, cradling her head like a baby. "I won't let her see you like this."  
  
Peter had arrived in record time, coming into the bathroom to see Shelby crying in Daisy's arms. "I'll take it from here, Daze." He said calmly, dropping into a squat and taking Shelby from her. "You go to group." Daisy left reluctantly, promising that she wouldn't tell Jess about what had happened.  
  
Peter scooped Shelby up into his arms, and carried her out of the dorms and down to the Infirmary. He gently laid her down on one of the beds and told Jeff to call Dr. Madison. She was the on call Doctor that Horizon used for all the accidents. After him and Shelby were alone, he calmly surveyed her body for more wounds. Relieved to find only one cut on the inside of her left arm, an inch or two below her shoulder.   
  
Dr. Madison approached Shelby carefully, reapplying a fresh bandage and wiping the excess blood off of her arm. "She'll be okay Peter." She said after a few moments. "She's a little shaken up, but she'll be fine."  
  
Peter didn't know what to say. Shelby had never tried to cut herself before. Why would she start now? He silently thanked her, and she left without another word. Leaving Peter to try to help a girl who had given up on the rest of her life.*  
  
  
Peter sat in his office thinking about Shelby. He carefully scanned over her intake file over and over until his eyes hurt. He still couldn't understand why Shelby had been behaving the way that she had been the past few months. It's got to be Scott. He told himself over and over again. It just has to be Scott. There was a knock at the door and Sophie entered, carrying a tray holding two coffee mugs.   
  
"Figured it out yet?" She asked solemnly. She knew that seeing Shelby like this was tearing Peter up. Last school year she had done so well. She had opened up to the group, and come out from behind the wall that she had built to protect herself. But in the past four months since Scott left, the wall had been built back up. The only two people that could get Shelby to break down the wall for a few moments so they could get behind it were Daisy and her sister, Jessica.   
  
"Not yet." Peter sipped his coffee and kept staring at her file. "I just don't understand it Soph. She was doing so well."   
  
Sophie walked behind him and slid her hands over his shoulders and onto his chest. "I know, but as you said, Scott leaving after they had become so close made Shelby relapse. It might have made her think twice about trusting anyone. It's not like she was extremely trusting in the first place."  
  
Peter nodded in understanding. He remembered what Shelby was like when she first showed up at Horizon. As the other Cliffhanger's had put it, Shelby was 'campaigning for Bitch of The Year.' He leaned into Sophie's touch as the image of Shelby fluttered into his mind. Not the Shelby everyone knew today, but what Shelby looked like when she first came to Horizon. Her hair was curly then, thanks to the aid of her curling iron and tons of hairspray, and she wore a pair of tight blue jeans with a hole in the right knee. Her tank top was as tight as she could possibly have gotten it, and although she didn't choose to come up to his mountain, Peter saw that she held her head high. On her face, she wore a determined look that Peter had never seen before in an admit.   
  
*Mrs. Blayne stood next to the drivers side door and talked to Hannah. "I just don't know what to do with her anymore." She told Hannah quickly. "We can't keep her at home. Every time Walt and I bring her back, she just sneaks out again. I can't keep doing that to Jess. I can't keep disrupting her life because her sister is a runaway."   
  
Hannah nodded in agreement. "I know how troublesome that can get, Mrs. Blayne. I can assure you that we will do everything in our power to make sure Shelby stays safe." Peter looked through the windshield at the two girls in the backseat. The older one he presumed was Shelby. From the look of her, she was going to be a tough one to crack. Whatever her demons were, she knew what they were and how to keep them there.  
  
Peter walked around to the passenger side and opened the back door. "You can come out Shelby. We won't hurt you here." He saw her exchange glances with her mother before climbing out into the open, her little sister in tow. "I know how hard this must be on you-"  
  
"You know nothing about me." She snapped, challenging his gaze. "Don't pretend you can understand my and my life. You'll only be disappointed."  
  
"Shelby Elizabeth Merrick," Mrs. Blayne snapped. "You do not talk to them that way!"  
  
Peter held up his hand to silence her. "We don't keep anyone from expressing their opinions here. Shelby can say whatever she wants to. As long as it's just said in words." He looked Shelby over. She was strong and confident, that just reassured him that this girl would take some time.*  
  
"Peter?"  
  
Sophie watched as Peter's mind came back to the office. "Where'd you go?" She moved across the room to the couch and faced him.  
  
"You didn't see her when she first showed up, Soph."   
  
"I'm assuming you mean Shelby?" Sophie didn't exactly see where Peter was going with this.  
  
"Yeah," He closed the file and slid his chair over to the filing cabinet. Replacing the file, he slid over to the couch. "She was as tough as nails. All the girls tried to get her to talk, but the only thing she would tell them is that she was a habitual runaway. Nothing more, nothing less. Then when it finally came out, Scott was there to help her through it. I just don't get how she can hide from everyone after all that she's done."  
  
Placing her hand on top of Peter's, Sophie looked deep into his eyes. "She's scared Peter. You would be too if the only person you ever let get to close to you left you as soon as they had gotten the chance." She knew that Peter understood the truth of her words. "She really loved him, and he left her. She's afraid to make that commitment again."  
  
"I just wish she would open up to someone." He scooted his chair back over to his desk. "Anyone would do." Then the phone rang. Peter lifted the receiver on the second ring. "Mount Horizon High School, Peter Scarborrow speaking." He listened for an answer.  
  
"Hey Peter." Scott Barringer said slowly, taking time to think about his next sentence.  



	2. What does Scott want? How does he react ...

~ DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, I'm not trying to make money off of them, yada yada yada~  
This is my first Fanfic, Reviews are very welcome  
Flashbacks have * in front and behind them  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear  
  
  
Peter's eyes opened extremely wide. "Scott?" He asked unsure of himself. "Is that you?"  
  
Scott laughed shortly. "Yeah, it's me. How are you guys"  
  
Peter smiled at Sophie. "We're all good." He lied, mouthing to Sophie that it was Scott. "How is everything with you're dad?" Peter leaned onto his desk.  
  
"We're doing okay." He hated lying to Peter, but he couldn't tell him the truth just yet. He had to wait until they could have this conversation face to face. "It's not the same as it used to be, but we're doing okay." He closed his eyes and leaned back onto the bed in the guest room. He refused to sleep in his own bed when he had returned to his house. He couldn't stop the memories that came to him when he slept in his own bed.   
  
"I'm so glad to hear that." He said simply, looking at the clock. It was almost two in the morning at Horizon, so Peter figured that the chances of Scott calling him this late only meant that he was having trouble with his father again. "You couldn't sleep?" He asked smoothly, not saying anything that might make Scott angry.  
  
"Not really." He looked at the clock next to the guest bed. The red digital numbers read 1:56. "It's getting harder and harder to not think about what happened here." He rolled onto his stomach and pulled the pillow under his chest. "I just can't get the image of Elaine out of my head sometimes."  
  
Peter listened quietly until he was sure that Scott had finished talking. "Well that's completely understandable, seeing as though she did seduce you into sleeping with her." He waited for a moment, only to hear a grunt of acknowledgement for Scott's end of the line. "Why do I feel like that's not why you called?"  
  
That's when Scott knew Peter had figured something out. "I don't think I can take being here anymore." He attempted to keep his voice calm, but it cracked on the last word. "I can't keep seeing her face every time I close me eyes. I know she's not coming back, but I can't even sleep in my own bed. It's starting to take control again." He wiped his eyes on the dark purple comferter that his dad had picked out for the bed. "I want to come back to Horizon."  
  
Taking a sheet of paper out of the top drawer of his desk, Peter scribbled out what Scott had just said and showed it to Sophie. "Have you talked to your father about this?"  
  
"Yeah."   
  
"What did he say about it?"  
  
Scott looked at clock again. He had been on the phone with Peter for about twenty minutes already, and he was wondering when his dad would tell him to get off the phone. "He said it's fine with him as long as it makes me happy." He took his time on the last few words of the sentence. "He just wants what's best for me."   
  
Peter wrote that down and passed the notepad to Sophie. "Does he want us to come get you? Or is he planning on bringing you up?"  
  
Scott remembered the fight he had with his father earlier that night. "He'll bring me up, but he won't stay long. He doesn't want to miss that many days at work."  
  
"Okay, when should we expect you?" Sophie handed him back the notepad and he saw what she had written. Has he asked about Shelby yet? He mouthed the words 'not yet.'  
  
Scott pulled a picture frame off of the nightstand. Over the summer Juliet had written him a couple of times, sending him pictures and some of Auggie's drawings. The only picture he had made his father get framed was the one of Shelby sitting alone under a tree writing in her journal. "He suggested we leave as soon as possible. Tomorrow maybe, which means we would get there by Thursday morning if he wants to stop and rest overnight."  
He brushed his finger over Shelby's face.   
  
"We'll look forward to seeing you Scott." Peter began to reach over to the power button on the base to shut the phone off.  
  
"Uh, Peter" Scott's voice was shaking.  
  
"Yeah Scott." Peter didn't know what Scott was going to say next.  
Scott braced himself, because he knew that the next words out of his   
mouth were the last thing Peter expected to hear. "Do you think I could talk to Shelby tonight?"   
  
This comment almost knocked Peter out of his chair. "I'll send Sophie to see if she's still awake. I'm not going to tell her to wake her up, but you can talk to her if she's still up." That was the only thing he could tell Scott. He didn't know if Shelby was going to want to talk to Scott. He wasn't going to force her.  
  
"Thanks man." Scott knew that was all Peter could offer. He wouldn't make Shell do something she didn't want to do. He had heard about the accident from Juliet, and he wondered if anyone blamed him for it. 'No more than you blame yourself, meat.' He could hear Auggie's voice in his head and he knew the words were true.  
  
  
Sophie walked quickly to the girl's bunk and opened the door slightly. She saw the bathroom light was on under the door and knew that Shelby was awake. "Anyone else up?" She asked the dark room.   
  
"The better question would be 'who's not up?'" Daisy's voice could be heard on the other side of the room.   
  
"None of us can sleep with Shelby crying," Juliet added sorrowfully.   
  
Sophie walked over to the bathroom door. "She in there?" She asked sweetly, pointing to the door.  
  
Daisy nodded her head. "Yeppers. She's been in there for about twenty minutes now. We were starting to wonder if she was okay." Daisy sat up and pulled her hair away from her face.  
  
Knocking gently on the door, Sophie smiled over at the other girls. "Shell?" She asked gently. "You have a phone call in the lodge." She could hear the lock slide to one side, and Shelby appeared. Her skin was as pale as a sheet of paper, and her tearstained cheeks started to show the signs that Shelby hadn't been eating much in the last few months. She moved in to hug Sophie and changed her mind at the last minute. "Come on." Sophie said quickly, wrapping her arms around Shelby's fragile shoulders. "I'll take you to the phone."  
  
They left the room without another word. After moments of silence, Juliet said what they had all been thinking. "It has to be Scott." She said quickly, turning on the light next to her bed. "Sophie wouldn't have come in to get her for any other person."  
  
  
Shelby walked into Peter's office. She knew that he was looking at her, and she knew what he was thinking. "Here she is." He said quickly to the person on the other end before handing the phone to her. Then he and Sophie left the room to give her time to talk.  
  
Sophie hadn't told her who was going to be on the other end. It wasn't as if she had asked either. "Hello?" She asked, trying to make her voice stop shaking.  
  
Scott couldn't believe that he was talking to Shelby. He tried to speak, but his voice wouldn't let him. after another minute he told himself that he had to say something. "Hey Shell." He finally said.  
  
Her knees felt weak, and before she knew it, she was on the floor. "Scott?" She asked shyly, afraid to find out that it really was him.  
  
"Yeah Shell. It's me."   
  
Tears welled up in her eyes. She wouldn't start crying again tonight, she vowed to herself. She couldn't go back to the dorms like that. "Hi." She said as best as she could. "Ho- How are you?" She pictured him laying on his bed getting ready to go to sleep. Finally, when her tears could be held back no longer, she allowed them to pour down her face.  
  
Wiping the tears from his eyes, Scott looked at the picture in his hand again. "I'm doing good. How 'bout you?" He could tell that she was crying now, and it tore him apart. 'She's just happy to talk to you.' He tried telling himself. 'Those are happy tears.' "How are thi- things there?"  
  
"Same as usual." She spat as briefly as she could. She didn't want him to know that she was crying. 'He'll just worry about me.' Her mind tried to reason. 'He doesn't need to know what you're going through.' "You know quests, group, sharing every single thought that goes through ones brain. You know Peter and Sophie."   
  
He laughed shortly. He did know Peter and Sophie. He also knew that Shelby was trying to hide something from him. "I missed you." He said softly, praying that she didn't hear him. Taking all the courage he had he said it again. This time louder. "I missed you."  
  
Shelby composed herself enough to speak again. "I missed you too." She said softly. "But if you wouldn't mind, I'm kinda tired. Can you call back tomorrow or something?" She knew that he would know that she was lying, but she really didn't care. All she wanted was to get off the phone.   
  
"Yeah sure, tomorrow." Scott wanted to tell her that he was coming back, but he didn't know what that would do to her. "Sure Shell," he tried to stay calm and not blurt out that he was returning to her. "I'll just give you a call tomorrow after class." He heard her mumble something and hung up. He switched off his light, and tried to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a very long day.  
  
On her end of the phone, Shelby hung up the phone with her free hand. "I love you." She whispered to the phone secretly. After taking a moment to regain her composure, Shelby pulled herself off of the floor and walked straight to the door. She saw Peter and Sophie sitting on the couch outside Peter's office and instead of stopping to talk to them, she ran back to her room. Not stopping until she reached her bed.  
  
  
Peter watched her run and turned to Sophie. "She's gonna need more than two days to deal with this." He said quietly, leading Sophie to his truck outside.   
  
Sophie climbed into the passenger side and rested her head on his shoulder. "I just hope she'll be okay." The car lurched forward and Sophie looked at the girl's dorm. "I know she's a fighter Peter, but I can't help but to think of all the things she's capable of doing. Of all the things she's already done."  
  
Peter patted Sophie's thin hand. "I know, Soph. I know."  



	3. How does Shelby react to talking to Scot...

~ DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, I'm not trying to make money off of them, yada yada yada~  
This is my first Fanfic, Reviews are very welcome  
Flashbacks have * in front and behind them  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear  
  
*Shelby sat next to Scott on the dock, her feet dipping into the water. She couldn't believe what he had just said. "You can't be serious." She told him angrily. "You can't leave me here." Her eyes were searching his for some kind of sign that told her that he was joking. There was nothing reassuring in his eyes. Now she knew he was leaving. This was going to be her last night with him. "I love you, Scott. I don't want you to leave."   
  
"I know, Shell. I know." He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. He could feel her pull away and she looked into his eyes. Then she kissed him.   
  
This was a kiss unlike any of the other kisses that he and Shelby had ever experienced before. It was deep and passionate, laced with all the emotions he knew Shelby was feeling at that moment. When he finally broke the kiss, he saw something in her eyes that hadn't been there before. She took off her jacket and laid back, pulling him on top of her, giving him another long kiss. Scott could tell what she wanted, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't do it knowing he was leaving the next day.  
  
Pulling away from her, Scott looked deep into Shelby's eyes. "We can't." He told her sternly.   
  
"Yes we can." She said quickly, attempting to kiss him again.  
  
Grabbing her shoulders, Scott held her away from him. "I can't Shell. Not with me leaving tomorrow."   
  
Shelby recoiled at that remark. "You don't want me?" She asked him softly. He shook his head and tried to plead with her, but she put her jacket back on and began to stand up. "Did you ever want me?"  
  
Scott tried to make her understand, he tried to make her see his side, but she wouldn't listen. She turned and started to walk back to her bunk. "Come on Shelby, don't do this. Don't make this any harder than it has to be." She stopped, listening to his words. "It's not that bad. I can come to visit."  
  
She turned around and for the first time, he had seen all the pain that she had tried so hard to conceal. "It is that bad, Scott." She wiped the tears away from her face, and tried desperately to make them stop reappearing. "Lets not make this one of these drawn out good-byes. I can't do that again." And with that, Shelby ran up to her dorm room, flopping down onto her bed to cry herself to sleep. The first of a long series of nights.*  
  
  
Shelby laid on her stomach, sobbing into her pillow. It was morning now, and she hadn't slept a wink. All night she had remembered everything that had happened between her and Scott. That phone call had brought up every memory that she could possible recall, and just when she thought she couldn't cry anymore, she would be reminded of something else, and they would start to fall again. She knew how she must have looked to the other girls in the room, but part of her didn't care. They had tried to tell her that he wasn't worth it. Tried to make her eat, but she had turned them down. Then after everyone had gone off to class, she pulled on her sneakers, and walked down to the docks.  
  
After watching her for about ten minutes, Jessica walked down to sit next to her sister. "Where'd you go last night? Who was on the phone?"  
  
"As if you don't already know." Shelby said harshly. She knew she shouldn't take her pain out on her sister, but she couldn't help herself. "I'm pretty sure there's not a rock around this damn place that doesn't know that I talked to Scott last night." She turned to the trees and shouted. "That's right everybody! Shelby Merrick talked to Scott Barringer for the first time in three and a half months!" She dropped her voice a few levels and looked at her sister. "And it's tearing me up inside. Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now?" When she couldn't stand her sister looking at her anymore, Shelby stood up and raced into the woods.  
  
She raced past Auggie and Juliet without out even a grunt of acknowledgement that they were there. "That's it." Juliet said harshly. "I am going to get that girl off of Scott. Even if it kills me." She turned to follow Shelby into the woods when Auggie grabbed her arm.  
  
"Let me go." He whispered into her ear. "I think she needs someone with a level head talking to her." He kissed the top of her head and looked into her eyes. "You go see what you can get out of Jess." Juliet nodded in agreement and headed off to where Jessica sat on the docks. Her head in her hands. Auggie followed Shelby into the woods.  
  
  
He found her a few minutes later slumped next to a tree. He braced himself for the words he knew that Shelby would throw his way. "You know, polite people say 'hi' right before they run over their best friends." He started, walking up and taking a seat next to her.  
  
"Go away, Auggusto." Shelby spat in his direction. She didn't even look up to yell at him. That told Auggie more than he wanted to know. This was not going to be a normal argument with Shelby. No, he was going to get the truth out of her. The whole truth.  
  
"Now Shelby, you know I can't do that." Auggie looked at her again and saw what he had missed the first time. Shelby was a wreck. Her hair was tangled and her face was especially pale and thin. He had known that she hadn't been eating, but this was unbelievable. He didn't think she would be able to take much more of this. "I can't just sit by and watch you destroy yourself."  
  
"What do you care, Auggie?" She asked harshly. "What would it bother you if I died?"  
  
That remark hit close to home. "Why wouldn't I? Shell, you can't do this to yourself." He slid his arm over her shoulder and pulled her toward him. She allowed him to pull her close. "If you were gone, I would actually have to start feeling good about myself." Shelby managed a soft laugh and Auggie continued. "You know that we all love you. Even if you're being a total Bitch." His brain noted that there is no reaction from Shelby at that remark. "Now that I've shared, it's your turn."  
  
Shelby didn't allow him to let go of her, or even turn her around. "Just when I think I can get over this, he calls." She could feel Auggie's breath on the back of her neck, and she knew that she's safe with him. "He'll never know how much I love him Auggie. I don't even think he cares anymore. He didn't even think I mattered enough to tell me that he was leaving before it was too late. He told me the night before, Ez. The night before! Then to top it off, the one gift I wanted him to have, he shuns." She's sobbing now, and Auggie just holds her. "I wanted him to make love to me, and he told me that he couldn't.   
  
"I wanted him to just go ahead and kill me so I wouldn't have to say good-bye. More than anything, I didn't want to have to say good-bye." Inside her head told her not to tell him anymore, but her heart told her that she needed to get it out. As usual, her heart won. Her heart always won. "I wanted to die. To just be gone. He killed my heart, but spared my body. I just wanted to make my body feel like my heart did." By now she was just babbling incoherently.   
  
Auggie never let go of her. He knew what she was feeling. Not because he had been there, but because she was telling him. "It's okay Shell. You know that it's gonna be okay." He held her until the shaking stopped and she began to speak again.   
  
"He told that me missed me. Then he expected to hear that I wanted him to come back." She closed her eyes and leaned back into Auggie. "I can't tell him that. I want him back, Auggie. You don't know how much I want him back, but he can't know that. I can't be responsible for all his pain. I just can't." She started rocking back and forth, her hands clutching her knees. Her eyes were still closed, and she leaned into Auggie a little further, allowing him to tighten his grip on her.  
  
Auggie waited until he knew that Shelby was asleep before picking her up and heading back to campus. Peter saw him emerge from the woods with Shelby in his arms and he feared the worst. He ran over to him as fast as he could. "How is she?" He asked , trying to regain his breath.   
  
Auggie showed Peter that Shelby was alright. "She's asleep." He handed her off to Peter, and brushed his hands together. "She talked a lot. About...you know."  
  
"Scott?"  
  
"Yeah, it's hard to explain Peter, but I understood her." Both of them started to head towards the girl's dorm. "She kept telling me how she felt, what she did, and I thought I already knew." He hesitated with the last line. "Guess, now I know how it feels to be you." Peter gave Auggie a huge hug after they had set Shelby up in her bed.   
  
"And how does it feel?"  
  
Shelby started to wake, but when she realized she was in bed, she just rolled over and slept some more. "Better than you'll ever know." He brushed a stray hair out of Shelby's eyes, and Peter left the room. Before, when Auggie had wanted to get close to Shelby, he knew it was only for her looks and reputation. Now, as he watched her sleep, he knew that he had finally got what he never knew that he wanted. A part of him loved Shelby more than life itself, and that was the part that made him stay with her until she woke.  



	4. Daisy gets upset at Auggie. And How does...

~ DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, I'm not trying to make money off of them, yada yada yada~  
This is my first Fanfic, Reviews are very welcome  
Remember: Flashbacks have * in front and behind them  
  
(No, I'm not trying to create a Shelby/Auggie story line. Although I'm not ruling it out, I just did plan on it. I'll get to the connection between them in later Chapters).  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear  
  
Daisy sat alone at one of the tables in the lodge, watching her dinner as she moved it around with her fork. It was spaghetti day at Horizon. The third time this week. Deep down Daisy was relieved that the supply truck was coming the next day, even if she has to help unload it. Her mind was on Shelby. On the deathly pale girl lying in the bed across from hers. Her thoughts consumed her, until she didn't even notice that there was someone behind her.  
  
A tray slammed down on the table, and Daisy jumped. Her eyes met Auggie's and he smiled. "What? No rude comment?" Both of them laughed and Auggie reached across the table to hold her hand. "Spaghetti again. Isn't this the third time this week." All Daisy could do was nod. He knew what she was feeling, he didn't have to pretend like everyone else did. "She'll be okay, Daze. She talked to me about it . I know she'll get better."  
  
Daisy could no longer hold back her anger. "When?" she yelled his direction. "Could it possibly occur in this lifetime?" Pulling her hand away from his, it ran into someone on it's way to her side. Looking up, Daisy saw Sophie looking at her. "What do you want?" She asked her harshly.  
  
"I'm calling Group." Pulling Daisy out of her chair. "Go to the couch."   
  
"Do we have a choice?" Auggie stood and took Daisy's and his tray to one of the Tracker girls who had the misfortune of having to do kitchens that evening. Then Shelby's image flashed through his head. Without saying another word to Sophie, he took off out of the lodge and headed to the girls bunk. Opening the door, he noticed Shelby sitting at her desk. "Sophie called group." He whispered gently, placing his hands on her shoulders.   
  
"Ask me if I care?" Shelby finished writing down in her notebook and closed it, putting it under her mattress. "I'm coming." She watched Auggie start to head to the door. "Aug?" He turned and walked back over to her. "Thanks, for....earlier." How can I tell him how much that meant to me? Inside she was fighting to keep some semblance of control. No one had ever listened the way he did earlier. Not even Scott. "You didn't have to."  
  
His arms fit around her so well. "Yeah I did." They fit so well together. 'Now I know how it feels to be Scott. To hold this precious thing in my arms and know that she can feel what I'm feeling.' For a moment they just stood there. Then he felt Shelby pull away.  
  
"We should get to Group." She said almost reluctantly. Turning toward the door her eyes met Peter's. "Great. Now I'm busted for nothing."   
  
Peter nodded to Auggie. "Go to Group. I want to talk to Shelby alone." Auggie left and Peter sat down on Daisy's bed. "I know the past few months have been really rough on you, Shell." He looked at the picture of the Cliffhangers that she kept next to her bed. Her and Scott were standing so close together. "And that just makes what I'm about to say even harder."   
  
Every horrible thing that could possibly go wrong flashed through Shelby's head. "What? Peter you can't just say that and leave me hanging." Thinking through the events of the past few months, ruling out only a few of her ideas. "Peter tell me."  
  
Seeing the look of desperation form into her eyes, Peter decided to tell her what was going to happen. "It's about Scott." He started softly. If only I knew how she would take this. "There's no easy way to say this Shell, so I'm just gonna spit it out." Shelby braced herself against her bed. "Scott's father is allowing him to return to Horizon. He's coming back tomorrow."  
  
Nothing she had ever been through could prepare her for what she was feeling. "Are you sure?" Her voice was wavering, and she was praying that God would allow her to remain calm. "Are you sure he's coming back for good this time?" Peter nodded solemnly. "So that's it huh? No one even asks me how I feel about this. Does anyone even care?" All her thoughts came out and she lashed out at Peter.   
  
"Calm down." He could tell that she was in pain, that she was only lashing out because she was fresh out of tears. "He still has to go through the admit process, and then he's on newbie restrictions." He tried to comfort her as best as he could. "It'll be at least another two days before you guys are allowed to see him. Don't get stressed over nothing."  
  
'Nothing?' Shelby couldn't believe her ears. 'How could he call Scott nothing?' "I can't believe you're saying this." She got up and went to leave the room. Peter was able to grab her, pulling her onto the floor. She couldn't hold her feelings in any longer. Tears came flowing out of her eyes, and she held on to Peter as if he was the only one who could save her.   
  
'This is gonna take a lot more than two days.' Peter thought to himself, remembering what Sophie had told him the night before. "It's okay Shell." He whispered, rubbing her back with the palm of his hand. "You'll be okay." It took him at least twenty minutes to get her to calm down enough to speak. "If you want, I'll have someone bring you the things you need for school. You can work in here."  
  
"Do the others know about this?" She sounded better, but her eyes were bloodshot and filled with unshed tears. "Do they know about Scott?"  
  
Peter didn't know what to tell her. "Sophie is taking care of that in Group today. They'll all know by lights out tonight." 


	5. What happens when Sophie tells the group...

To Thine Own Self Be True  
  
~Disclaimer: I don't own oany of them. If I did I know a few guys who wouldn't see the light of day again.~   
I'm not sure how long I'm going to make this, but bare with me  
  
"To Thine Own Self Be True" ~William Shakespear  
  
"What do you mean Scott's coming back?" Daisy spat at Sophie. Most of the other Cliffhangers felt the same way, they just weren't expressing it the way Daisy was. "When? Does Shelby know?"  
  
Sophie looked over as Peter walked in carrying a dinner tray. It was going to Shelby, of that Sophie was certain. She knew that Peter considered the Cliffhangers his children, and it pained him to see any of them like this. "Yeah Daze, she knows." Peter said calmly, setting the tray down to look at the others. The group was a mess. David sat on the arm of the chair that Jess was in, his right hand on her shoulder. Ezra sat on Jess's feet, with Daisy practically in his lap, and Auggie and Juliet were lounging on the couch that Scott and Shelby usually inhabited. "She didn't take it nearly as well as the rest of you did."  
  
"But don't worry," Sophie picked the tray up and just looked at the small amount of food on it. "Scott still has to be admitted. All you guys remember what it was like to be in the admit process. It will be at least another two days before he gets to see any of you." She looked around the room for the Cliffhanger that would be able to get up the fastest. Looking over to Peter for help, he quietly pointed to Ezra. "Ez? Would you mind taking this to Shelby?"   
  
Ezra was off the floor before the sentence was finished. "No, anything else?" Peter handed him a folder of what he presumed to be school work. "Okay, I'll make sure she knows what she's doing." He left with a slight nod to Daisy.   
  
Daisy carefully surveyed the remaining Cliffhangers. "So Peter, how did Shell take the news?" She knew what the answer to that would be. She had seen Shelby go through this before. This is one of the hardest things for someone in Shelby's position to go through.   
  
"There was a wide variety of emotions Daze." Sitting in one of the side chairs, Peter thought about the best way to describe Shelby's reaction to the news. "Anger, sadness, longing. All of these emotions are expectable when dealing with the return of someone you never thought you'd see again. Someone you've prepared yourself to live without. Before we talk about Shelby, we're going to Round Robin." A loud groan came from the group on the other end of the room. "Upon hearing about Scott's return, I feel; Fill in the blank Auggie." Peter passed the 'talking stick' to Auggie.  
  
"Cautious." Auggie noticed the groups blank stares. "How do we know if we can trust him again? He's been gone through most of our things with Shell, and we don't know how we're supposed to face him. Jules?"  
  
Juliet caught the stick and sat up. "Happy!" She squealed, watching as Daisy put her forefingers up to her ears. "Scott's coming back. We need him here to learn with the rest of us. Maybe now that he's back we'll be able to get back to the way we were before he left."  
  
"Fat chance at that one, Queenie." Shelby said solemnly, following Ezra into the lodge. She sat down on the floor next to Daisy, and reached up to hold her sister's hand.  
  
Juliet pretended not to hear her. "Jess?"  
  
The stick landed in Daisy's lap. "Hey Aug," she feigned unhappiness. "Teach you're girl how to throw." She passed the stick up to Jessica.  
  
"I'm not really sure." Jessica looked around the room. All she knew about Scott was how much he and Shelby cared about each other, and that was the last thing she wanted to bring up. "Scott seemed to be an important part of the group, and when he left, everything that I've seen you guys accomplish disappeared. He seemed to be you're rock, and I think that would be a great thing to get back." She looked over to Peter's for reassurance. He nodded gently and she looked at the rest of the group. "I guess that would make me a bit relieved to see us get back to where we should be. Ezra?"  
  
Instead of tossing it, Jessica just handed it to him. "A bit of everything actually." Ezra looked cautiously at Shelby. "I feel good because, it's Scott, but on top of that, I'm feeling everything from anger to pure shock. He just leaves three days after the Morp, then four months later, he expects us to let him back into our lives. It's almost as if he doesn't think we have anything better to do." Everyone in the room noticed that he wasn't speaking to the group, he was talking to Shelby. It was almost as if he was speaking her words for her. "Above all though, I'm just glad that he's realized that he belongs here with the rest of us. David?"  
  
The stick passed through the air smoothly, landing in David's hand. David and Ezra didn't care for each other much, but they always seemed to get past it in group. "Relieved." He said dramatically. "By Peter's carefully calculated statistics, one out of every four kids that leave Horizon actually make it in the real world. I'm so glad that Scott's actually coming back. It evens my chances up by three." He laughed and noticed that most of the other Cliffhangers were laughing too. A major shock to him seeing as though most of them would have tried to kill him for a remark like that three weeks ago. Then he realized that there was only one person that the stick hadn't been passed to yet. "Shelby." He dropped the stick right next to Shelby and held his breath. No one in the room was absolutely positive that Shelby would be able to hold herself together long enough to answer the question.  
  
"I feel..." Shelby looked directly into Auggie's eyes and saw everything she needed to continue her sentence. "Tired. I feel tired. Having to build up all the walls that come with letting someone in and out of my life has gotten old. If Scott wants to come back, let him. It doesn't mean I don't like him anymore. I'm just tired of him putting on some big dramatic performance every time he decides he needs a vacation." Auggie reached over the arm of the couch and held onto her hand. He knew how hard that must have been for her. More than anything else in the world, Auggie was proud at her for sharing her feelings. "What's our next topic?"  
  
Somewhere inside of her Shelby felt relieved that Auggie was there with her. Of all the people she could open up to it had to be him. The irony of that didn't escape her. Sophie noticed that all the Cliffhangers seemed to agree with Shelby. "You guys are going on a quest on Friday." She said almost reluctantly, hearing all the groans of disappointment before they actually begun. "We know, we know, you don't want to go, but guess what?"  
  
"We're going anyway?" Everyone pitched in to make a unison voice from the floor.   
  
"Like we didn't know that before." Daisy smiled over to Shelby.  
  
"Before you all go out tromping through the woods, we'd like you to know the rules of this excursion." Everyone knew what was coming, they had heard it all before. Peter wasn't about to let them get the best of him. "It's very simple, after group tomorrow night, you will all receive you're packs. We're only waiting that long so Scott can get acclimated. Then Friday morning, Sophie and I are taking you up to the Solo Cabin, where you're gonna spend the next few nights by yourselves." Somewhere inside him he heard a voice tell him that he shouldn't trust them as much as he did, but they were his kids, and he felt as though he would trust them with his life. "We'll leave you with one clue. That clue will take members of you're group to another place. Only the group members that have something to do with the clue may leave the cabin. We have video cameras up in the cabin, so we'll know whether or not you followed our directions. When they get back, the group will discuss the clue as a whole.  
  
"Not all of you will have something to do with the clue." Peter reminded the group, noticing that not everyone was paying attention. "In the end we'll come and collect you and you're clues. Then as a group, you will pick one thing mentioned in the clues to 're-live.' I know all of you are going to have a thought about what you want to do. But you have to work together, or you will never get this finished."  
  
Somewhere inside of her, Shelby had to speak up. "How will we survive?"  
  
Sophie knew that she wasn't asking about physical survival. "We'll leave you with a week's supply of food and water. We'll even allow you to pick one item of junk food to take with you." That didn't answer Shelby's question, but she didn't know how to answer her question without bringing up Scott.   
  
"So where does Scott come in?"   
  
'Ezra was always the one to ask other's questions in a more direct manor.' Peter thought about saying this out loud, but he knew that it wouldn't come out right. "He returns to you guys tomorrow, and you all go on Friday. One down all down remember?"  
  
At that point, Shelby could no longer hold back her anger. "Didn't you tell me he wasn't gonna be back until at least Saturday?" Shelby looked as if she was about to throw up. Everything she had ever been dreading about Scott's return had just come true. "Whatever happened to you're promise?" The bile in her throat could no longer be held back and she raced out of the lodge and into the night. She stopped when she reached the gazebo, and threw up a few feet away from the woods. Not wanting to return to the lodge, Shelby sat down in the gazebo and tried to think of something besides Scott.  
  
Scott stood a few feet away from Shelby, his dad a few feet away from him. He wasn't sure wether or not he should got to her. Would it make a difference? Would it make her see that she really needed him? Or would it just make her think that he didn't want her, and he only came back to get away from the memories of Elaine? The lodge door opened again, and Auggie walked out into the night. He spotted Shelby immediately, crossing campus until he was right next to the gazebo.  
  
"The sooner you stop running is the sooner it stops bothering you." He said in a know-it-all voice. "You can't hide from you're demons, Shell. You of all people should know that they only come back with a vengeance." Moving as if he was trying to stay out of arms reach, Auggie slid into the seat in front of her. "That being said, what is it you're running from?"  
  
Shelby knew that Auggie understood her. They had both lived life on the streets, coming home only ot be shipped off again. "They think that him coming back will solve our problems. No one else knows about what happened the night that he left. If they did...." Shelby let her voice drop. She could feel Scott's eyes on her, but she had convinced herself that she was just nervous.  
  
Reaching to hold her hand, Auggie knew that there was someone out there. "If they did, they wouldn't think anything of it." Gently tapping her head with his fingertips, Auggie changed his approach. "Hello? Is there a brain in there somewhere? You and Scott were inseparable, they knew that you two would probably do something like that eventually."  
  
"He turned me down Aug. He didn't want me."  
  
"The word for what he is stupid." They both laughed softly. "He knew what he was missing, so he came back. Peter's not asking you to be the first one on the Welcome Wagon, he just wants to know that you're not gonna hate him for the fact that he made the choice to try to work it out with his dad."  
  
Shelby closed her eyes and leaned her head onto the back of the bench. "Auggusto?"  
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Where did you get so smart?"   
  
"After two and a half years of Peter and Hannah, something had to rub off." Auggie stood and helped Shelby up. "Now lets get you to the dorms before Peter tries to send out a search party." Shelby allowed him to pull her off of the bench and out of the gazebo. Then, when he tried to put his arm around her, she pushed him into a bush. When they reached the bunks, Shelby gave Auggie a hug and walked into the girls room. She slowly changed into some sweat pants and a tank top. After standing in front of the mirror for what seemed like forever, she climbed into bed. Falling to sleep easily for the first night in a long while. 


	6. How doe Scott re-act to Shelby and Auggi...

~ DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, I'm not trying to make money off of them, yada yada yada~  
This is my first Fanfic, Reviews are very welcome  
Flashbacks have * in front and behind them  
  
Again. I'm not trying to put Auggie in between Shelby and Scott.  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear  
  
  
Standing behind the gazebo, Scott made no move to leave after Shelby and Auggie left. He was glad that Shelby could have a person to talk to, but it surprised him to find that it wasn't Daisy. Usually Daisy was the first out of the lodge when Shelby ran. There was something different about Auggie too. Shelby had allowed him to touch her. "Maybe she's just lonely." Scott said to himself. His father gave him a quizzical look. "Nothing Dad. I was just thinking out loud."  
  
Mark motioned to the car, and after Scott joined him, he pulled out of the Horizon campus. "Who were the two that were in the gazebo?" Mark asked his son gently.  
  
"Auggie and Shelby." He stated simply. He didn't want to tell his dad that much about the people at Horizon. "They're just friends from the Cliffhanger group. Nothing too special about them."  
  
"Shelby?" Mark thought about the name for a moment, finally connecting it with the girl that he had overheard Scott tell his friend Brian about. "She's the girl that you have next to you're bed right?"   
  
He knew that his dad would be able to put it together. "Yeah Dad, Shell's the girl in the picture that I keep next to the bed in the guest room. We got...close last time I was here, and I didn't want to forget her."  
  
"It looks like she's forgotten about you." A voice told Mark that attempting to kill his son's relationship with Shelby was wrong, but he couldn't help but to try to help his son move on. From the look of Shelby, she wasn't the kind of girl that he wanted Scott involved with anyway. "Her and that Auggie kid seemed to be pretty close."  
  
"He helps her out." Scott remembered how close Shelby and Auggie looked together. Maybe his dad was right after all. 'No, Shelby wouldn't do that. He pulled his seat belt on and made sure his bag was still at his feet.'  
  
  
After performing a bed check, Peter and Sophie drove home. They were expecting Scott to show up at their house around quarter till eleven, so they had a lot to do before he showed up. The living room was a mess when they got there. There were dishes everywhere, and the pillows were still in the dryer. As quickly as they could, they cleaned up the living room, and Sophie started to make a snack for Scott and Peter.   
  
A car pulled into the driveway a few minutes before eleven, and they saw Scott get out and open the trunk. He extracted a few bags, and put them on the ground next to the car.   
"I worked very hard to get you back in here." Mark told his son angrily. "Don't screw it up."  
  
Scott knew that his dad had nothing to do with him returning to Horizon. The night he'd called Peter, Peter had arranged for him to stay with him and Sophie for the night and be admitted the next morning. His dad was just taking the credit. "What are you gonna do to me if I do?" He asked jokingly. "Send me back to Horizon?" His dad didn't find the joke as funny as he did. The duffel bag he had decided to bring slid off of his shoulder. It was heavier than it was when Scott had brought it back from Horizon the first time due to the large amounts of gifts he had brought everyone. "Relax Dad, I'll be fine." He gave his father a weak hug, and took the file out of his hand. "I'll see you in a few weeks." Marc got back into the car and drove away, leaving his son to figure out whether or not he was going to go inside.  
  
It only took a few knocks before Sophie answered the door. "Sorry kid. Whatever you're selling, we don't want to buy." She joked, pulling him into a bear hug. "Welcome home." She finally released him as Peter came out of his and Sophie's bedroom. "Anyone hungry?" Both guys readily agreed.  
  
Peter took Scott's bag out of his hand. "You want to do this now?" He asked Scott quietly. "It'll get you back into group quicker tomorrow." Scott nodded his head, and as Peter searched through his bags, he looked around the living room. Pictures hung all over the walls. Ezra pushing David into the lake, Shelby and Daisy throwing snowballs at the guys while on a quest, and others that looked like they had been taken by a pro. Peter pulled the gifts out and inspected them for any holes of tricks that would hold drugs of any kind. He knew that Scott wouldn't be dumb enough to hide something, but the rules said that he had to check everyone's bags.   
  
"Who's the photographer?" Scott asked quietly. He noticed that a great deal of the pictures that were up, were some of the same ones that Juliet had sent him.  
  
Confidant that every hole had been checked, Peter slid the bags over next to the couch. "Depends, which picture?" He stood and walked over to Scott. "Everyone has tried at least one new thing this school year. Daisy took that one," he said pointing to the one of Ezra and David. "Juliet took this one here," He pointed to the one of Shelby and Daisy, "and David took the one over on the end table." Scott turned to see a black and white picture of Shelby crying next to the fire. He took a picture off of the far side of the mantle and handed it to Scott. "This one's my favorite." He said as Scott saw the picture of him and Shelby in the gazebo.  
  
No one knew the story behind the picture better than Scott. It was the night of the Morp, and curfew had been set back a few hours so they could all have a little more fun. Shelby had led Scott over to the gazebo to be alone and talk. To their surprise, however, neither one had anything to talk about. They had spent the rest of the night just sitting there holding each other. "What do you want to know?" Was Scott's first question. He had already figured that Peter knew that he and Shelby hadn't slept together.   
  
"Nothing Special. Just the truth." Both men sat on the couch as Sophie brought the tray containing food into the living room and set it on the coffee table. Scott could see that Sophie and Peter didn't follow the same rules as everyone else at Horizon did. There was nothing healthy on the tray what so ever. "Upon returning to Horizon and seeing Shelby for the first time in a little over five moths; I feel?"   
  
Taking a few chips off the tray, Scott smiled. "I want to say great, but I've been dreading joining the group tomorrow for the last two days. Coming back and seeing Shelby didn't help me any either.The more I thought about seeing them, the happier I got. But as soon as I saw Shelby, I knew that me coming back may be a good thing for me, but it's not necessarily a good thing for the rest of the Cliffhangers." He took another handful of chips off of the tray. "How does everyone else feel?"  
  
"We'll get into that in group tomorrow." Peter yawned, pushing Scott's bags over to him. "What'd you bring everyone? I noticed that you have a few things that you couldn't possibly be thinking of using yourself." Scott threw him a quizzical look. "Unless you read Seventeen with David Boreanaz on the cover?" Sophie laughed and pulled a photo album off of the couch. Handing it to Peter, he handed it to Scott. "The group wanted us to give you these." Scott opened the album to find pictures of everyone. "Everyone except Shelby has taken at least one picture in this."  
  
"Why hasn't Shell?"  
  
"She doesn't have a desire to take pictures," Peter picked up a drawing that had been framed and set on the mantle. "She prefers to draw." That's when Scott got a good look at the picture. It contained Daisy and Jess sitting on top of a picnic table throwing popcorn at each other. Both of them were smiling and to Scott it looked like another black and white photo.   
  
"Looks like Horizon has two artists." Sophie wiped Peter's fingerprints off of the picture frame. "Auggie does the more creative things and Shelby does the realistic things. She's become very good at it."  
  
"I bet she has." Taking an Oreo from the pile on the tray, Scott savored the sweet taste as though he thought he would never get the chance to eat another. "She's very good at a lot of things."  
  
Peter took a few Oreo's off the tray and shoved them into his mouth. After he was done chewing, he washed it down with milk. "And hiding her feelings goes right up there."  
  
"Am I to take it that she's a little less than thrilled that I'm coming back tomorrow?"  
  
"Less than would be the understatement of the year." Sophie picked up the tray and threw a pillow at Scott on her way into the kitchen. "We'll get into that tomarrow as well. You'll sleep on the couch tonight. Maybe, if you're lucky, you'll get a pre-Horizon breakfast." Scott laid down on the couch as Peter turned off the light.  
  
"Get some sleep. You'll need it to face the Group."  
  
Scott closed his eyes and pictured the girls lounging in their beds. "Where are you now Shelby? And what are you thinking?"  



	7. Shelby does something drastic in respons...

~ DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, I'm not trying to make money off of them, yada yada yada~  
This is my first Fanfic, Reviews are very welcome  
Flashbacks have * in front and behind them  
  
If you have a weak stomach, I'd suggest you not read the first four paragraphs. Shelby's back to cutting herself, and I went into some detail.  
  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear  
  
Shelby laid her head on her arm before rolling over and pushing herself up.The cool material of Scott's flannel shirt only warmed her skin as she pulled it over her green tank top. She never told anyone that she had taken it out of his bag a few minutes before he left. It gave her a rush to feel something that belonged to him against her skin. 'My mom told me that a soulmate is a friend that holds the other part of you're soul.' She heard Scott's voice throughout her head. "If that's true, then you're the only soulmate I can ever hope to find." She walked out the door and headed straight to the wood shed. Once she pulled the top row away from the wall, she pulled a shiny object away from her cigarettes. To the common person, it would seem that she held a long lighter, but a lighter could only burn. What she held in her hand did so much more damage.   
  
The knife glinted in the moonlight as Shelby brought it up to her arm. The first cut was deep. Slicing the tender skin that had been broken several times before. As blood flowed from the open wound, Shelby made a second cut followed by a third. Every time the knife hit the skin, she felt better and better. After a few more slices, Shelby pulled a crimson towel out from under her pajamma bottoms. She had rolled the towel up immediately after her shower. After wiping all the blood from her knife, she slid it back into her pack of cigarettes, and turned her attention to the wound.   
  
Dabbing the wound with the towel, Shelby didn't even flinch. Every sting the air on her open wound assulted her already hyperactive senses, but she did not cry out. To cry out was to show weakness, and Shelby wasn't weak. She cleaned the wound and rolled down the sleeve of the flannel shirt to cover the gash. Watching her hands tremble slightly, Shelby pulled a few cigarettes out of her pack. Careful of scraping her already exposed flesh on the wood, Shelby pulled herself on top of the wood pile and lit her cigarette. Slowly her thoughts drifted to Scott, and before she knew it, her chest started hurting again.  
  
Not wanting to go back to bed with the feelings of anger and resentment, Shelby pulled the silver knife out of her pack again. Without bothering to be gentle on herself, this time she scraped the strange blade over the delicate spot on her arm. The bleeding started quicker this time. Flowing uncontrolably down her arm and onto her bare feet. The pain felt good to Shelby. Simple. She didn't know why she hadn't thought of this before. Why did she run away from her home and friends, when she could have just sliced the problem away. She hadn't counted how long the cut was left open, and soon she began to get dizzy. Sliding the knife and the cigarettes back into the wood pile, Shelby sat down on the damp earth and wept for the lose of control she had felt over the long months.  
  
  
After making sure Scott was asleep, Peter drove out to Horizon to check on everyone else. Upon getting out of the car, Peter knew something was wrong. He could hear Shelby before he actually saw her. She was slumped over on the ground holding her arm. Over the course of the past week, Peter looked up everything he could on the pasts of each of the Cliffhangers, and only one thing he found could come close to this. In Juliet's intake folder there had been a story about when one of her step-fathers came home from work and found her in the same position. Immediately Peter was at her side. Shelby didn't even open her eyes when his hand came in contact with her arm.   
  
"Shell?" He asked her frantically. "Shell, answer me!" He scooped her up into his arms, and ran to the Infermery. He had been there with her twice in the course of three weeks. He knew that she was about to self-destruct, he just didn't know how far it would go. He laid her on the bed and picked up the phone. After placing a quick call into Dr. Madison, he called Sophie. She was waking Scott up and getting dressed even before they had gotten off the phone. Shelby twitched a little as he pulled off the bloodstained flannel shirt. She wasn't dead, at least he had that to be thankful for. "You'll be okay," he kept saying to the frail figure on the bed. "You'll be okay."  
  
  
  
The next hour had been shear hell. Dr. Madison had arrived within minutes of Peter's call, and she had to physically push him out of the room. Then she took stock of Shelby's injuries, rolling her bottoms up to get a look at her thighs. What she saw only shocked her. Scars and bruises lined the tops of her thighs and the area around her stomach. They weren't recent, but someone else had had to have done them. She knew that Shelby wasn't that strong. There were also letters carved into Shelby's ankles where her socks would have covered. One distinct letter S and a faded W.   
  
Sophie and Scott showed up some time around midnight, weilding cups of steaming coffee. Scott hadn't been told who he had been woken up for, but he was far too tired to ask questions. Peter handed him the keys to the lodge, and Scott spent the rest of the night on one of the faded leather couches. Sophie took Peter to the lodge and sat him down at one of the tables. She knew that he had to tell someone about what he had seen that night, and the kids hadn't been told yet.   
  
"She was just so helpless, Soph." He kept repeating. He wasn't ready to see one of his kids like that. He would have been able to handle it if it had been a Ridgerunner, or even a Tracker, but it was a Cliffhanger. One of his own. Those kids were his life. "She didn't even try to save herself. It was almost as if she wanted to die." He stood and walked over to the main room. "She couldn't have wanted that. Could she?" Neither one knew the answer to that, nor would they ever. Shelby only did what she had to as far as drastic measures had been concerned. "We had put her under watch last time, and when we decided that she was better, we let her get back to Group. I never thought she would do it again. Never."  
  
From where he sat, Scott could hear the cencerity in Peter's voice. He still had no clue who he was talking about. Shrugging it off as just another Ridgerunner gone psycho, Scott pulled the blanket around him tighter and laid back down on the couch. Soon finding himself in a dream full of shapes and colors.  
  
"You had no idea that she was going try it again." Sophie attempted to shift the blame somewhere else. Anywhere would have sufficed, as long as Peter no longer blamed himself. "Shell knew her limits. She just kept the boundries bottled up. Like Jules always says, she just wanted an outlet for the pain."  
  
"Jules? Juliet has never attempted to do what Shelby has done. Juliet has never repeatedly cut herself after being caught!" Peter couldn't help but to raise his voice. "How can you even compare the two?"  
  
Sophie pulled him onto the floor next to her. "She's in good hands Peter. Just relax for a minute." Peter closed his eyes and soon he was asleep. Sophie shifted slightly so that Peter was laying on the floor. Then she stood quietly and walked across campus to the Infermery.   
  
Dr. Madison jumped slightly when she heard the door open. "I thought I told you not to come back." She said pointedly, turning to face who she thought was Peter.  
  
"Nope." Sophie only shrugged. "I haven't heard a thing from you for a while." She walked over to the bed and looked at the creature that Shelby had turned herself into. The pale shell of a girl that used to have so much life in her. "What's the verdict, Amy?"  
  
Amy looked over the chart that Shelby's previous doctor had faxed over. "She knew what she was doing. There's no doubt about that. The lacerations on her arms showed that she was trying to break the skin, and the lack of bruising around the area proves that she was taking care of it." Ever so gently, Amy touched the tissue around the sliced area.  
  
"She was healing herself only to hurt herself again?" There were flaws in that logic somewhere, Sophie just couldn't put her finger on them.  
  
"It's not uncommon." Amy wrote down her observations as she eximed Shelby's body again. "It's a form of ancient torture actually. A king would have his prisoners mended and tended to before he would even consider to sentence them to death or have them beaten. Aparently it hurts more that way." Shelby's eyes fluttered when her hands found their way to the cuts on her feet. "And look at this Sophie." Sophie put down the chart and moved to look at what Amy was showing her. "I don't think this is even a new thing to her. I think she's been cutting herself in one way or another ever since her step-father started molesting her. See the W?"  
  
"Walt." Sophie watched the doctors delicate hands dress the wounds. "That was her step-dad's name, Walt. Why didn't her mother tell us?"  
  
"Perhaps Mrs. Blayne never knew." Sophie walked Amy back to her car. After shaking hands and promising to return to check on Shelby in the morning, Amy drove off into the night.  
  
Sophie went back into Shelby's room and fell asleep in the chair by her side.   



	8. The Group sees Scott again, and he learn...

~ DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, I'm not trying to make money off of them, yada yada yada~  
This is my first Fanfic, Reviews are very welcome  
Flashbacks have * in front and behind them  
  
Juliet changes emotions rapidly in the next few parts. It's called Stressed Feelings. I looked it up  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear  
  
  
By Peter's decision, the Cliffhangers didn't report to their classes or Group after breakfast. With Shelby still in the Infermery, it didn't seem right that the day would be carried on as normal. Instead, everyone was told to return to thier rooms. After lunch was served, everyone proceded to the gazebo upon recieveing a hand written invite from Juliet. Daisy had taken her journal along with her to write in, and Ezra a copy of Shakespear's sonnets.  
  
"What are we doing here Jules?" Daisy asked harshly after the group was finally assembled. Looking around the small building, Daisy realized how much this mornings new had effected them. Everyone looked so tired. Juliet never should have called the group. "Sophie said no Group today."  
  
"We don't need Peter and Sophie present to hold Group." She responded so matter-of-factly. She twirled her brown hair on her tiny forefinger as she looked around at the group. "Well, we all seem to be here, so-"  
  
"Except Shelby." Jesica stated simply. In the past few weeks, she had begun to act more and more like Shelby used to. Everyone thought it was to make up for her absence since Scott had left. "We've never held a Group when we were missing someone." She sat bolt upright and glared at the entryway. "At least when we were missing those with the guts to stay on the mountain." Everyone shifted slightly to follow her gaze to the grass.  
  
Scott stood tall in the sunlight. He read the looks on everyones faces before attempting to sit among them. His former friends seemed less than pleased to see him. Juliet was extatic, as usual, but the others wore masks that shielded the emotions from him. He hadn't the slightest idea what any of them had been thinking. "So now I'm gutless?" He feigned shock, taking in the look of anger on Jess' face. "What's with the masks?"  
  
Daisy stood unstedily and hugged him to her. "You mean Peter didn't tell you?" She clutched onto him tighter than she should have. Without Shelby there to add in her sarcastic remarks and quick quips, she didn't know what else to do.   
  
"Didn't tell me what?" Scott let go of her and held her gaze, searching for some sort of sign. His eyes roamed around the gazebo, looking for whatever he could. "Wait, where's Shelby?"  
  
A slight sniffle from the smallest of the group told him all he needed to know. The girl he had been woken up for the night before hadn't been a Ridgerunner, or even a Tracker. It had been the most precious thing in his life. Passing Daisy off to Ezra, Scott practicly dove for Jessica. He held onto her until she had calmed down enough to speak. "Peter found her next to the wood shed last night. Dr. Madison said she was smart. She said that Shelby knew exactly what she was doing. That she only lost as much blood as she-" Jessica broke down again. Scott just held her. Not knowing what else to do.  
  
"Madison said that what Shleby did was called controlled cutting." Juliet finished for her. "Shell knew her limits." She was stronger than she gave herself credit for, Juliet's mind finished. Of all the people that knew about controlled cutting, Juliet was probably the one that could explain it best. "She only cut what she knew wouldn't bleed for long." She wanted to throw herself at Scott. She wanted to just start hitting him, but she couldn't muster the stregnth.   
  
"Will they let anyone see her?" He asked after a moment, never letting go of the frightened creature in his arms. "What has Madison said about her reciving visitors?" Everyone had noticed how fast Scott had gotten to Jess, and the fact that he was hell bent on helping Jessica see her sister. When no one had answered him, Scott stood and located Sophie through the throng of people on the grounds. "Hey Soph!" He shouted over the background noise. Sophie turned and immediately headed over to them.  
  
"You bellowed, Master Barringer?" Sophie joked, trying to lighten the look on his face.   
  
"Can we see her?" He didn't have to elaborate about who he was talking about. The fear in his face flashed for a second before he was able to control it.   
  
"I'm not sure that 's possible, Scott."  
  
"Well if not all of us, at least let Jess see her." Scott knew he could get through to Sophie. "She's her sister for crying out loud. I can understand the immediate family rule, but Jessica's her immediate family!" No one had seen this side of Scott before. Daisy couldn't help but to smile. "Soph, please?"  
  
Sophie couldn't say no to him. "Come on. I'll talk to Peter. Maybe he'll even let you all see her."  
  
The group held their rejoicing until they were sure that they could see her. Peter reminded them that although Shelby was strong enough to have visitors, it was up to Shelby who she saw. After making that clear, Peter lead them to the recovery room where they all plopped down in chairs to wait until it was their turn to see her. The first thing Peter noticed when he entered Shelby's room was the plate of food that hadn't been touched. "You really should eat something." He said softly.   
  
Shelby just rolled over to face him. "Not hungry."  
  
"You have guests." He said cheerfully, hoping to change her mood. "Who do you want to see first?"   
  
"Daisy." Shelby stated simply. "I wanna see Daisy first." Peter nodded and left the room. "Lord give me stregnth."  
  
Peter stepped into the hallway and looked at the eager faces. "You're up, Daze." As Daisy rose and walked into the room, Scott gave Peter a suspicious look. "I wouldn't count on seeing her today."   



	9. How does Daisy re-act to seeing Shelby? ...

~ DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, I'm not trying to make money off of them, yada yada yada~  
Thank you to all those who have reviewed. I hope you like this part.   
Flashbacks have * in front and behind them  
  
I know this one is long, but I couldn't decide where to end it.  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear  
  
  
Daisy took a deep breath before letting Shelby know that she was in the room. "Yes Master?" She choaked out the last word when Shelby looked up at her. "God Shell, are you okay?" All Shelby could muster was a meek smile. "What did you do to yourself?"   
  
Everything about her seemed different. Her hair was thin and combed straight, and her clothes looked as if they were too big for her. "Is he out there?" Was all she asked.  
  
"Yeah. He's worried about you Shell. We all are." Daisy pulled a chair up to the side of the bed. "You scared the hell out of us."  
  
Brushing the hair out of her eyes, Shelby hoped that she didn't look sick to anyone. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do, and I can't run. I've been running all my life and I can't do it now." She pulled at the shirt Peter had taken out of her pile. For some odd reason, she could have sworn that it was one of Juliet's. "I know that I have to face him sometime, but I'm not sure if I can do it now."  
  
'I know that feeling.' Daisy said to herself. "Then you don't have to see him. Just don't keep cutting yourself over him. He's not worth it."   
  
  
  
Outside the Cliffhanger's just sat around looking at each other. No one was ready to see Shelby. No one was even going to pretend they knew what she was going through. They were all just so scared about what she had done. Even Juliet was scared for Shelby. She had always been the strong one. Always taking care of herself no matter what. Even if it meant running away and selling herself on the streets. They had delt with the happy side, the angry side, even the disterbed side, but nothing had prepared them for the self destructive side. "I hope she's okay." Juliet said between sobs, as the days events came back to her.   
  
Auggie wrapped his arms tighter around her. "She will be Jules. She's a fighter." Throwing a sharp glance over at Scott. He had been the reason Shelby had resorted to this. She was perfectly fine until he decided to come back. "Why don't we hold Group here?" He asked Juliet softly. The anger was something in his voice that he had tried to suppress. Shelby had held her own until Scott came. It was up to Auggie to make sure she would be able to hold her own again. No one else realized what Auggie was doing. "What's one of Peter's questions last night? Oh, here we go. One word, how do you feel right now? Jules?"  
  
"Scared. Jessica?"  
  
"Confused. Auggie?"  
  
"Angry. Ezra?"  
  
"Stunned. Scott?"  
  
"Terrified. David?"  
  
"Releaved." David finished off, turning to Auggie. "Now why? Jules?"  
  
Juliet looked into Auggie's eyes. "Shelby's never done this before....Well she's never ended up here before." She turned her attention to Peter. "What if she's not okay? What happens if she's hurt herself too much?" Calming down she looked across the room. "Jess?"  
  
"Like you said she's never gone this far." Jessica curled up into Ezra's lap and allowed him to hold her. "She's been my rock and now she's breaking. Auggie?"   
  
Letting go of Juliet, Auggie looked at Scott. "I'm angry at Scott." He started, watching a look of confusion spread on Scott's features. "It's you're fault she's in here Meat. You deciding that you've had enough of you're dad, doesn't mean we have to drop everything to let you back in. You just left her, and us to pick up the peices of her." Scott noticed the edge in Auggie's voice and decided not to make him do something he'd regret. "It's all your fault that she started cutting in the first place!"  
  
Scott stood and attempted to calm Auggie down. "Hey man, don't pin this all on he here. I didn't mean to hurt her."  
  
"You left her hurt. She hadn't gotten over you coming back into her life." Auggie was half tempted to swing at him. "Damn Meat. You told her you loved her!"  
  
  
The door to Shelby's room opened slightly, and Shelby looked out into the small hallway. She and Daisy had been listening to the boys yell at each other and she decided to put an end to it. "Jess?" She asked quietly, watching as everyone turned toward her. Jessica hopped out of Ezra's lap and ran over to where she was standing. Jessica brought Shelby to her knees. After hugging her sister for a few minutes, Shelby ran her hand through Jess's hair. "How are you?" Only a few words were audible as Jessica buried her face in Shelby's shoulder. Shelby just held onto her. Finally Jess calmed down and Shelby stood. She looked like an angel, pale and thin. Her light hair fell over her shoulders in straight waves, and it met Juliet's shirt and blended in to it. The faded blue jeans required a belt, and hung on her hips. "Now, anyone want to tell me what's going on out here?"  
  
There was a silent moment, broken only by Peter coughing. "You should be in bed, Shelby."  
  
"I'm strong enough." Was her only reply, looking up a Auggie. "I'm waiting?"  
  
"We were holding Group, and some of us found that we should beat the stuffing out of each other until you felt better." Ezra offered helpfully, recieving threatening glances from both Scott and Auggie. He stood slowly and pulled Shelby into a protective hug. "Are you okay?" He asked her softly, searching her eyes for signs that she would lie to him.  
  
Shelby knew that she wouldn't be able to lie to him. Juliet and Scott maybe, but not Ezra. Or Auggie "I will be. I just need to get some rest." She threw a sideways glance at Peter. "And eat." Peter nodded his agreement. Looking into her sister's eyes she nodded her head. "I will be." Her eyes connected with Scott's and she could see his concern.   
  
"Are you okay?" Scott turned to Shelby. 'Should I hug her? Should I just stand here? Please Shell tell me what to do.' Her eyes plead to him to hug her. So he did. He pulled her into the biggest hug he had ever given someone in his entire life. He didn't want to let her go. "I missed you Shell." He told her in a voice that only she'd heard.   
  
She felt her voice falter, and she just clung to him. He had put her through so my heartache and pain that she didn't know what else to do. "I know you did, cowboy." She said into his shoulder. "I know." She buried her face into his shoulder again, feeling Scott's breath against her neck.   
  
No one had to disturb the image that was in front of them. Shelby had never done anything like that in the years that she had been at Horizon. She had never needed someone as she needed someone as much as she needed Scott. Even though he knew he shouldn't, Peter coughed again. Shelby reluctantly let go of Scott and turned to look at Peter. "Why don't we take the group into your room Shell?" He asked her softly, picking her up and taking her through the door and tucking her into her bed. Then he took the tray away from Daisy and set in front of her. "Eat." Shelby took a few bites then looked over at David.  
  
"Relieved?" She asked smiling. "Why are you relieved?"  
  
Something inside of David clicked and he saw Shelby again. Not the frail immitation of the girl he had been sparing with for the past year he had been at Horizon, but the real thing. The girl who knew his mind, and challenged it. He might have had less than one percent of a chance with Shelby, but he realized that what he wanted from her he already had. "Why am I relieved?" David repeated the question to himself. "Well for one thing, Juliet stopped crying." Shelby just laughed at him. She knew that he didn't want to admit that he had been worried about her. "I'm also relived because we can't go on that moronic quest Peter and Sophie had planned because of the 'down' rule." He exchanged looks with Peter. "One down all down, remember?" He said cheerfully.  
  
The group exchanged glances and all turned to look at Peter. "He has a point." Daisy laughed ironically that David would be the one to call him on his own rule. "And for once it's a valid one."   
  
Peter didn't know what he should do about this. The purpose of the quest was to reunite the cliffhangers. A task that they had come to do all by themselves. Inside he was debating whether or not they needed it. They had pulled through this thing with Shelby togeather, but there was still and underlying hostility between Auggie and Scott. If anything, they were the two the quest would do good. If not everyone else. "Shelby's a strong one. I'll let her decide wheter or not she can go on the quest." He turned to look at the girl sitting on the bed. "Don't push it Shell, but do you think you could make it up to the Solo Cabin?"  
  
Scanning the other faces in the room, Shelby saw a mix of emotions. Scott's face was full of concern, and Auggie's was full of blind madness for Scott. She had to make it up to the cabin. For their sakes if not her own. "I think that the Solo Cabin is a long way away," she saw the looks of hope flicker across Juliet and Jessica's faces. They actually thought she was going to say that she won't go. "I think that I can make it." She squashed the hope in her hand and looked over to the defeated members of the group. "As long as I can take breaks. I'll be fine." She looked over to Auggie and gave him a reassuring smile. "I'll be fine."  
  
Everyone could see that Shelby was getting stronger. She'd be back to her old self in time. She didn't need to push it, though. "Why don't we let Shelby get some sleep?" Auggie said solomnly, looking over to Scott. "We can all meet in here for dinner and group. If Peter will let us that is?" He gave Peter a quizical look. A moment passed and Peter seemed to be weighing the decision. Then he nodded. "We're having salsberry steak and mashed potatoes. We've got kitchens tonight, so if you don't want that I'm sure Peter will allow us to bring you some soup and a sandwich."   
  
Juliet knew that Auggie was trying to take care of Shelby. She wasn't jealous of her either. Shelby and Auggie had the same kind of life. Both of them had grown up on the streets, and both of them had gone home to their old ways and come back alive. Auggie might have wanted Shelby once, but the lust had turned to adoration and then to love. He loved her as if she were one of his sisters, and Juliet understood that. "Yeah, we could even bring you some veggies too." She looked over at Peter. "If you wouldn't mind of course?"  
  
Watching the Cliffhanges leave the room, Peter knew that hey had reached and agreement. His Cliffhangers had returned to each other like he knew they would. Most of them were trusting each other again. Then there was Auggie. Auggie took it upon himself to take care of Shelby. He had sat with her at meals when she wasn't strong enough to face the group, and he had been the one to ask if he could watch over her the nights after her first accident. If he didn't know any better, Peter would have thought that Auggie was falling in love with her, but his heart belonged to Juliet. Shelby was just a kindred spirit. She understod everything that had happened to him on the street. She knew how hard it was to run.   
  
Turning out the light on his way out of the room, Peter noticed that Shelby was already trying to sleep. She was going on the hike for the guys. Silently he vowed that she would come back alive. He knew she wasn't strong enough, but he had given her the choice anyway. He knew what she was doing. He knew it all too well.  
  
Shelby listened to the door shut before opening her eyes again. "I don't know how I'm gonna make it through this trip." She admitted to herself. In her own way she was giving up. She wasn't allowing herself to pretend that she could do it. She wasn't giving herself hope. After a few moments, Shelby closed her eyes and slept.  
  
  
* I told you that I was going to explain the whole Shelby/Auggie thing. Don't hate me for putting them togeather like that. It's not a love thing, and I haven't planned on splitting Auggie and Juliet OR Scott and Shelby.* 


	10. Shelby learns the real reason the Auggie...

~ DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of these characters, I'm not trying to make money off of them, yada yada yada~  
Thank you to all those who have reviewed.   
Flashbacks have * in front and behind them  
  
REMEMBER: I said that I wasn't planning on putting Auggie and Shelby togeather. Don't freak out when you read this part.  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear  
  
Auggie hestiated before opening the door to Shelby's room in the infermery. She was curled up under her sheets writing in a leather bound journal that was resting on her lap.She looked so peaceful. It was as if the Shelby that had been with them for the past six months had melted away. He almost didn't want to disturb her, but he needed to know what she wanted them to put in her pack. Slowly, his fingers grazed over the door, until he heard a distinctive knock. She jumped slightly, and glanced at the door. Her tense muscles physically relaxed when her eyes met his. "Hey."  
  
"Hey homegirl, how are you feeling?" Auggie walked in and sat in the vacant cahir next to Shelby's bed. The clipboard Peter had given him had been set at the foot of the bed, bellow Shelby's curled knees.  
  
Shelby closed her journal and shoved it under her pillow. "Been better." She turned to face Auggie's preturbed look. "Don't worry Aug, I've been worse too." Her feet shifted and she noticed the clip board at the end of the bed. "What's that for? You gettin' all organized and everything for the hike?"  
  
A hint of a smile crept onto Auggie's face. "Something like that....Actually I was wondering what you wanted to take on the hike?" He watched as her face fell. "What's wrong?" When she didn't answer he reached out to her and tilted his head up to the light. Tears silantly flowed down her already pale cheeks. "Shell, don't block yourself out now. Tell me what's wrong."  
  
Although she knew that she shouldn't, Shelby reached out and touched his hand. She had felt so many different emotions from him over the months, that she wasn't sure why he was there for her. Out of everyone in the group, Auggie had always been there for her. She couldn't say that about anyone else. Not even Daisy. "I'd rather not talk about it." He gave her a strange look. "Please, don't press it." His face softened and she pulled the clip board into her hands. "So, what all am I allowed to bring?"  
  
"Well I need to know which outfits you want to take so Juliet can pack them." The clipboard slid into his hands smoothly. "She even said that you can use some of hers. You know, because your own might not fit." He looked over the list that Peter had written. "I also need to know which junk food you want, wether or not you want to take a pillow...."   
  
"Just let Daisy pick out my clothes. My tank tops were already tight on me so she can pack whatever she'd like. Make sure you tell her to pack a few of my cover shirts. Sophie would kill me if she found me out of dress code." Her journal had been pulled out from under the pillow. It was passed into Auggie's hands and he had set it on his lap. "Can you try to put that into my pack too? I'm gonna need it to make it through the week. What are my choices from 'junk food land?'"  
  
"Not really sure." Auggie went over the list. "He didn't list it. I think it's pretty much whatever you want he'll get kind of thing. Although he did tell me that you shouldn't ask for something big. He's stocking the cabin with fruits and things that you should prefer eating." They threw each other a disgusted look. "Aparently since you're feeling better, you should eat things that would make JULIET sick." Shelby couldn't help but to laugh. Auggie ran his hand across her cheek and smiled. "I knew you had a smile buried under those tears."  
  
Something clicked in Shelby and she pulled away. "Auggie, stop." They both noticed the akwardness in the situation. "Lets just get back to packing....So who's packing my bag?"   
  
"We decided that since you're not strong enough," Auggie started. He noticed the objection in Shelby's eyes. "We're going to split up you're stuff between Daisy, Ezra, David and I. We figure it'll be easier that way." He put his hand up to her mouth to silance her. "BEFORE you start shouting ever cuss word in the book, and I think you know them, at least let me explain." She nodded and he continued. "We think you need all you're stregnth tomarrow, so we're going to give you and empty pack, it only ways a pound or two, and we'll carry your stuff. Then at the end of the week, if you're strong enough, we'll allow you to carry you're stuff back down."  
  
"You'll allow me?" Shelby just stared at him. "Do I look like I need your permission?" She took the clip board out of his hand again and hit him in the head with it. "I don't need you to tell me what I can do. That's why we have Peter and Sophie." They both laughed. Shelby looked into Auggie's eyes, and saw something there that she hoped she would never see in anyone elses eyes. "Why are you here?" Auggie started spouting his organized version of what she needed to bring and Shelby put her hand to his mouth. "Not what Peter told you to tell me, Auggusto. Why are YOU here for me? God knows I don't deserve it."  
  
"You want the truth?"  
  
"Yeah. That would help."  
  
"Because...I think....In a way.....I think I'm in love with you."  
  
  
*Don't kill me for this! I'll explain it I swear!!!*  



	11. How does Shelby act to the news???? And ...

~Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, yada yada yada, I'm not making moeny off of them, yada yada yada, don't sue.~  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear  
  
The words hit Shelby like a ton of bricks. Neither of them spoke for what seemed like ages. Shelby was sure she hadn't heard him right. He hadn't just told her..."This is the part where you start laughing histerically and and let me in on the joke, right?" She laughed nervously, searching his eyes with her own for some sign of a smirk. "Auggie. TELL me it's a joke! Please?" She pleaded with him to change his mind. "This HAS to be a joke, Auggusto! You have Jules, and Scott just got back. Damn it Auggie! Tell me you are NOT serious."  
  
Auggie noted the emotional turmoil that Shelby was going through. He didn't want to say that, but she had asked for the truth. That's what he gave her. The Truth. He hung his head, not wanting her to see his struggle. He was in love with Juliet, that was true enough, but he couldn't deny what he was feeling for her either. What he felt for Shelby was different. He didn't want to replace one with the other, but there was no denying what he felt for either. "Shell, calm down." He reached for her, and for once she let him touch her. "I don't mean I love you like that....God Shell, you shouldn't have asked for the truth."  
  
Shelby saw what he meant in his eyes. Over the course of their stay at Horizon, Shelby had begun to learn how to read Auggie, and vice versa. They had grown togeather as a friends, and something in them wanted to make it more than that, but Shelby wasn't ready for that. "Tell me I'm wrong, Aug. Admit to me that you belong with Queenie, and I'll forget that you ever even thought that." She waited. The rebuttle never came. "Auggie, please, don't do this."  
  
He wasn't sure he knew where the desire to kiss her came from, but it came...and he was too weak to deny the urge. He kissed her so slowly, so attentively, and it took a few moments before they could part. Both were resonably shaken from the expirence. "Well....That was...."  
  
"Weird?" Shelby finished for him. "Uh, Auggie?"  
  
"Yeah, Shell?" Auggie understood know that what he was feeling for her was now only a want to keep her safe, a desire to protect her. It was definately NOT physical. He felt for her as a brother would a sister. At least that was what he kept telling himself.  
  
Shelby waited until her head stopped spinning. "If you value your life at all...you will NEVER do that again." She tried to laugh it off, but the kiss effected her more than she wanted to admit.  
  
"Sure thing, boss." Looking at the clip board, Auggie pulled a pen out and began to write something down. When he finished he looked back up at her. "I still need to know what candy you want to bring with you to the cabin." He tried to play it off as if the kiss never happened, but he knew he couldn't.  
  
"Ask him for a couple bags of Skittles or something. No chocolate though, I want him to think I care about his opinion. Ask for enough that he thinks I haven't been taken over by aliens." The dinner bell sounded throughout the campus. "Wait a sec. I thought the Cliffhangers were on kitchens tonight?"  
  
"We do. I just got out of it so I could help get you packed." He stood and tucked her journal under his right arm. "I better get going, if I want to get you packed and eat before Group." He turned to leave then stopped. "Uh.....Shell?"  
  
Shelby looked up at him through her eyelashes. "Yeah?"  
  
"The kiss..........."  
  
Shelby nodded in agreement. "Never happened." She smiled at his back as he walked out of the room. Once the door clicked shut, Shelby feel back onto her pillows. "Pull yourself togeather, girl." She scolded herself calmly. "It doesn't matte. The kiss meant nothing to you." It only took a few seconds before Shelby fell into a light sleep.  



	12. What happens when the Group reconvines a...

~Disclaimer: I own none of them, I'm just playing with them, and I'll be returning them when I get through.~  
  
I will be finishing this series, and the trip up to the Solo Cabin will be in my next Fic entitled "Cabin Bound"  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear.  
  
  
After a few taps on the door, Daisy finally got Shelby to wake. She slid the door open the rest of the way with her hip, for her hands were full with the tray that they had made her carry. "Auggie said you were tired when he saw you last, so we decided to eat in the lodge before coming to see you." She set the tray down on the bed in front of Shelby, as Juliet came up behind her.  
  
"You have a little bit of everything." Juliet squealed, pointing to the plate. "You have salsberry steak, mashed potatoes, some veggie soup, half a peanut butter sandwich, and some carrot sticks."  
  
Seeing Shelby's preturbed look, Daisy decided to explain. "Once we got her started, we could get her to stop."   
  
"Oh!" Juliet let out another squeal before grabbing a cup out of Auggie's hand. "We also brought you some apple juice."  
  
Both girls started laughing at the hyper girl as Daisy climbed up onto the bed next to Shelby. "I have your Skittles and your 'big brown book' in my pack." She whispered sweetly. "I didn't trust Auggie with your journal."  
  
"Thanks Daze." Shelby took a bite of her sandwich as the others filed into the room. "Where did the rest of my stuff end up?"  
  
"Ezra's got your sleeping bag and pillow." Auggie pulled the chair up to Shelby's bed and snagged a carrot stick, leaving Scott to sit on the couch with Juliet and Jessica. Ezra and David sat on the floor on opisite sides of the room. "David has your Quest Pack and the medication that Dr. Madison perscribed. I have your clothes, the first adi kit, your bath bag, a towel, and some water."  
  
"He wouldn't let me take anything." Scott spoke up from his seat on the couch.  
  
Auggie stood and began to get defensive. "That's because we don't NEED your help. We've done fine so far without your help."  
  
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Scott rose and faced Auggie.  
  
"Just what I said. Meat." Auggie spit out the last word. "WE. DON'T. WANT. YOUR. HELP."  
  
"THAT'S ENOUGH." A voice screamed as poor warning before the boys were knocked apart. 


	13. Find out who stopped Scott and Auggie fr...

~Disclaimer: I own none of them, I'm just playing with them, and I'll be returning them when I get through.~  
  
I will be finishing this series, and the trip up to the Solo Cabin will be in my next Fic entitled "Cabin Bound"  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear.  
  
  
Shelby stood alone in the center of the room. She had used every ounce of stregnth she had to seperate them before they hurt each other, and now both boys were on the floor. No one knew where the courage to get between them came from. "That's enough, guys." She snapped as if she were Peter or Sophie, both of which stood in the doorway watching the spectacle. Neither of them could figure out what had happened either.  
  
Shelby stood for another few seconds before collasping on the floor next to Auggie. Peter rushed to her side. "Shelby, are you okay?"  
  
It took her a few seconds for her eyes to focus on Peter. "Yeah. I just got a little dizzy." Daisy hopped off the bed and helped Shelby back onto it. "Really guys, I'm fine." Her eyes couldn't focus on anything for very long, and she began to feel dizzy again. Almost everyone was helping her into her bed now, with the exception of the two that had been knocked unceramoniously onto the floor. Those two were still trying to figure out how they eneded up where they were.  
  
The tray was handed to Peter again, and he set it in front of Shelby. "Eat, it'll help you. Promise." He watched as she took a few bites of the carrot sticks. "There's my girl. Now eat a little bit of soup." Everyone was amazed at how childlike Shelby was. She wasn't arguing with Peter this time, instead she was doing everything that he told her to do. Eating a little of this and that. Enough to keep her stregnth up and enough to satisfy Peter. After a few minutes, her natural palor had returned, and Peter decided to start Group. "Before we start, would either of you like to explain to me what is going on?" He looked at Scott and Auggie, who were on oppisite sides of the rom, nursing their wounds so to speak.   
  
"Nuthin's going on." Scott said harshly. His accent peaking out a little in his words. "Muchacho just needs to learn to play nice with others. A lesson I think he forgot when I was away." He started to stand, only to find Daisy's hand on his chest.   
  
"Sit!" She commanded harshly, shoving him back onto the floor. He landed with a satisfing thud. Daisy wiped her hands togeather and looked at Auggie. "I wouldn't get up either if I were you."  
  
Peter smiled at Daisy's comedic performance. "That's enough Daisy." He turned to face the guys again. "Outside, Now. I'm waiting." The guys both stood and walked out of the room as Sophie started Group without them. "Scott? You want to try again?"  
  
Taking a deep breath, Scott looked onto the bed where Shelby sat eating her soup. "Auggie won't let me be part of the group. He thinks he's being 'all high and mighty protector of Shleby' or something." He looked into Shelby's eyes and she turned away. "She doesn't need protecting from me, Peter. I don't know why Auggie's being so hostile."  
  
"Auggie? Would you like to respond?"  
  
Auggie turned and looked through the window at Juliet and Shelby. They meant more to himthen they would ever know. He was going to keep them safe at all costs. "He expects us to drop everything and act as if he never left." His eyes looked directly into Scott's. "Meat, you've been gone through most of the things that Shelby's done. I've seen her at her worst, and you're just getting a glimpse of it. We can't live like this. Ever since you left it's been a bad re-run of 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly' with Shelby, and you haven't been here to see it. I wan't trying to shut you out Meat, I was just trying to keep her from showing it again."   
  
Shaking his head in agreement, Peter knew that he was on the road to getting these boys to work togeather. His only set back was that both guys claimed Shelby as theirs'. They had to figure out that Shelby belonged to herself, not anyone else. That was the problem that took them months to solve before the group split up before Kat's Graduation. 'This is going to be one bumpy ride.' Peter thought to himself, as he reached for the door knob. "Lets get back to Group."  
  
The door slid open easily, and they could hear Shelby's voice from inside. "I don't need either of them to survive." She was telling the others. "I don't need to cling to them as if like they could protect me. They haven't before. All they ever did was claim me, and then when it came to helping me, they helped themselves first. They are what caused me to do what I did." Peter closed the door loudly, causing the group to jump.  
  
Sophie smiled up at him from her place on the floor. Jessica sat in her lap, so that David and Ezra could share the couch with Juliet. The bed still held two solom looking occupants. "Come grab a seat." Sophie motioned to the boys. When they were both seated on the floor next to her, she turned to Ezra. "Okay Ezra, it's your turn. Tell us about your parents........."  



	14. Shelby and Daisy reminice by the docks. ...

~Disclaimer: I own none of them, I'm just playing with them, and I'll be returning them when I get through. I also stake no claim to the episode Exposed that I used for the Flashbacks. They belong to the writers and FFC.~  
  
This will be the LAST installment of the "To Thine Own Self Be True Series." The Cliffhangers heading up to the cabiun will be featured in the "Cabin Bound Series."  
  
"To thine own self be true." ~William Shakespear.  
  
  
Group had ended a few hours ago, and Shelby Daisy sat on the edge of the docks, dipping their feet in the water. Neither had said a word to each other sine they got there. Peter had decided that there was no curfew. The two girls just sat there next to each other. They're eyes doing all the talking. A few more seconds of this, and Shelby was sure she was going to kill someone. So she decided to get something off of her mind. "Auggie kissed me today." She said simply.  
  
At first Daisy didn't register what Shelby had said. Then it hit her. "Wha?" She choaked on the hot chocolate that she had brought for the two of them to share. Thinking for a moment, Daisy set the cup down. "Would you mind repeating it, Shell?"  
  
Taking a deep breath, Shelby prepared herself to say it again. "Auggie kissed me today. In my room. When he came to ask me what to pack." She watched Daisy's face for a sign that she was about to do...anything. "Daze? Did you hear me?"  
  
There was a sniffle, then Daisy was laughing so hard Shelby had to hold onto her so she wouldn't roll off of the dock. Daisy didn't know how she kept herself from falling into the water. After calming down, Daisy took another calming sip of the hot chocolate. "I heard you." She said, still trying to keep her laughter under control. "Why did he do it though?"  
  
Shelby pulled her knees up to her chest and looked out over the mountains. "That will be a mystery forever." Shelby pryed the cup out of Daisy's hand and took a long sip. "He loves Queenie, but he's been so confused lately. Now that Scott's back-"  
  
"You're confused too?" The laughter had gone from her voice. Her firend needed her help, and this was no laughing matter. "It's poison you know?" The line she had said one time before. "If you don't get it out of your system-"  
  
"It's gonna kill me." Shelby loked into her friends eyes. Daisy had alwyas been there to talk to her. She had always been there when she needed help. "I know, I know. You've given me the speach before. Remember?"  
  
*Shelby was down by the river. Cleaning up and calming down. She didn't even hear Daisy coming up behind her. When she turned around and came face to face with Shelby. "Leave me alone." She spat at her. "I'm not going to talk about it." She started walking back to camp with the pail of water. Stopping every few feet to rest. Daisy took her place beside Shelby, helping her with the bucket. "He catches touchdowns and he goes out with cheerleaders, and he thinks that's the world. He knows nothing about the world. About me." Daisy just listened to her. She knew that Shelby had to get it out. "If I talk to him I'll tell him everything. I'll look into those sweet eyes and I won't be able to stop it from coming out. Once I start, it'll all come out, and he'll hate me forever." They stopped and Shelby leaned onto a rock.   
  
Daisy just stood next to her. "It's posion you know?" She said softly, but loud enough for Daisy to hear you. "All of it. It eats you up inside." She hugged Shelby and turned her to look into her eyes. "And you know what's gonna happen to you if you don't spit out that posion?"  
  
Shelby didn't want to listen to logic. "I lose either way, if I keep it in or spit it out."  
  
"Maybe..." Daisy knew it was going to take a lot more than logic to get Shelby to come out and tell Scott everything. "...Maybe not." *  
  
  
"And did you listen?"   
  
It took only a second for Shelby to return to reality. "I did...It took me a while to do it, but I did." She leaned back onto her palms. "But I didn't spit it out fast enough. It drove me to let down my wall in front of everyone. Even Peter wasn't ready for what I was about to do."   
  
  
*"My step-father had a heart attack." Shelby said hesitantly.  
  
Scott didn't know what to say. He hung his head and ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't know, okay. I'm sorry." Then he buried his head in his hands. "You must feel like-"  
  
"Don't tell me how I feel." Her eyes connected with Scott's and Peter was certian that Shelby had gone through the same thing Scott had. "He's just some guy that married my mom. That's all. Jusst an extra plate at dinner." Shelby shook her head and began to stand. "I don't even know him." Then she walked away.   
  
Scott followed suit, and Sophie stood to follow them. Peter knew that Scott could get what he needed out of her. "Soph," he said softly, poping her on the leg with the back of his hand.  
  
Shelby skipped a few feet ahead of her, wanting to get away from Scott, but not wanting to run again. No matter how far she went, he just kept coming. "Is he okay?" Scott's voice came from behind her. "Is he still in the hospital? What?" He was catching up to her.  
  
Finally Shelby whirled on him. "I don't care!" She spat at him. trying to get him to leave her alone. "I HOPE he dies, I've prayed for it my whole life." She turned away from him so he wouldn't see the tears forming in her eyes. All she wanted was for it to be over. She just wanted him out of his life.   
  
"There's something you're not telling me?"   
  
"No." Pushing her hair out of her eyes, all she could do was lie. 'He'll see right through me.' A voice inside her head said calmly. 'Why don't you just tell him?'  
  
By this time Scott became worried. Shelby was one to hold it inside until it exploded, and that's the one thing he wanted to stop from happening. "You have to tell me what happened."  
  
"I don't have to tell you anything."  
  
Shelby was hesitating on the last word. A mistake that could give her secret away. Scott rubbed his mouth with two fingers, trying to put togeather what was inside her head. "He did it to you, didn't he? The same thing that happened to me. H-he abused you, he molested you-"  
  
She put on a fake smile and faced him. "No."  
  
But he didn't stop there. "It's not you're fault." She kept edging further and further away from him. Grabbing her by the arm, he turned her to face him. "Look at me alright! You have to tell me what happened."   
She spun out of his grip and started to walk away. "Just stay out of my life!" She spat back at him over her shoulder.   
  
He grabbed her again, trying to see the look on her face. "No I'm not gonna just- just-"  
  
Shelby pushed him away from her. She didn't want his pity, or anything that came out of him finding out about her secret. "JUST GO! JUST GET AWAY FROM ME! GET OUT OF MY LIFE-" She stopped screaming and headed towards camp. Not looking at what she was doing, Shleby cleaned off the food able with a swipe of her arm. Then she started knocking things around, getting too close to the fire for Peter's liking. He pulled her back and she shoved him away. Scott watched in amazement as she brushed her hair out of her eyes, and attemptedto calm down. Sophie was thje first one to get to her, pulling her into a hug. The rest of the Cliffhanger followed suit, all except Scott, who stood by himself trying to figure out what had just happened.*  
  
  
"Yeah." Daisy shifted her weight so she was laying down on top of the cold wood, her eyes never leaving her friends face. They were remembering things that they had wanted to forget. Things that would help them understand each other. "Hey," Shelby looked at her and smirked. "Remember the 'Mess with Mandy' game?" She reached out for the hot chocolate only to have her hand hit by Shelby's. "That was some quality entertainment."  
  
*They all sat around the camp fire that night. Telling Amanda their worst stories of theire lives. Some of them were even making them up. It was Auggie's turn and he was really getting into his story. "...Now that foster home was wacked. Making meth in the basement. Learned some cool tricks though..."  
  
Amanda was actually buying what Auggie was telling her. "You know how to make meth?"  
  
Ezra came in then. He just had to show off his expertise. "Oh we all do. Simple chemeistry, you know? Now re-fining smack...THERE's an art."  
  
That was all it ook for Shelby to get into the mood to tell her tale. Only this one was real. "You want to hear a really amazing one?" Amanda watched as Shelby's face changed. "When I was fifteen I started running away. It was really tough just staying alive." She allowed herself to show no expression. "My best friend Patty, I watched her o.d. right in front of me."  
  
Ezra knew that on some level this was real, but he wanted to see how far Shelby would go. "Come on Shell. Tell the real story."  
  
Shelby focused on the fire. "When things got...hard, like really bad. I had to sometimes, I started turning tricks." She watched as the group became very uncomfertable. "It was easy money when I wanted it. Just walk down the street, and smile, and the men would...." She glanced over to Scott, then to Daisy. "That's when my mother found me, and brought me here. I'm going to bed." She stood and walked over to the tents.  
  
Scott rose after her. "Shelby?" She stopped and turned. "What was that?"  
  
Trying her best to be strong, Shelby put on a smiling face. "Just having some fun. Playing the 'Mess with Amanda' game."  
  
Scott didn't want to hear it. "That story you told, nothin' to joke about."   
  
She knew that she had upset him, but she really didn't care. "I'll tell you what. You handle it your way, and I'll handle it mine." She climbed into her sleeping bag and closed her eyes. Praying that her nightmare wouldn't come again. *  
  
  
"That's when Scott found out the truth. That's when he turned away from me." Feeling herself drop, Shelby loked up at the stars. She could no longer see Daisy's face, and hoped that that was for the best. "He shunned me......"  
  
"As I recall, that was when you told us about Patty." Daisy lifted herself up onto her elbow. Over the years, Shelby had come to tell her about Patty. What made her special, how she was like, even the events surruonding her death. Even Daisy agreed that she was like Shelby's former confidant. "What was it she used to say?"  
  
"To thine own self be true." Shelby's face showed no emotion. Her mind was thinking about the possibilties of Scott finding out about her and Auggie's kiss. "Oh God Daze, what if Scott finds out. He will never trust me again."  
  
"Then he's not the one." Daisy said simply. Brining back he memory of the first time she had been told she was like Patty. The very same time she had consoled Shelby about her love for Scott.  
  
Shelby rummaged through her pack. She couldn't help the way that Scott saw her. If he didn't want her, fine. She could deal with the disapointment. "It's not what you did." She heard Daisy say behind her. "It's him. It's his scar tissue."   
  
She didnt't even seem to notice that somone was behind her. "Every day, I stand in the shower, everyday, and I think: What I waste. What a waste 'cause I'm never gonna get clean." She abandoned her pack and just stood there. Not moving. "The things I did, I can't even touch my own skin. Even I don't understand it." She turned to look at Daisy. "How can he?"  
  
Daisy didn't know what Shelby wanted to hear. "He'll try-"  
  
"I had SEX with men for money." Shelby knew she shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be fighting Daisy on this. "Do you know what that makes me?" The hurt in her eyes was almost to much for Daisy to bare alone.  
  
Her voice was clear, and she tried to stay strong. "A survivor." She had to make Shelby see that it wasn't her fault. She just HAD to.  
  
"He'll never understand."  
  
"Well then he's not the one." Daisy sounded so sincere.  
  
"My friend Patty, the one who o.d.'d? You're a lot like her." Shelby allowed herself to break down.   
  
Daisy took one look at Shelby and held her hand out to her. "I'll take that as a compliment." Pulling Shelby into her arms, she just stood there and listened to her sobs of grief. *  
  
"Come one girl." Daisy said after what seemed like forever. "Lets get you back to your room. We still have that Quest tomarrow." SHe helped Shelby up and walked with her back to the Infermery. "By the way, why did you say you'd go?" 


End file.
